What We’ve Done So Far

There was a lot of excitement going into this movie about a group of young and older men creating an adventure, being drawn into the wild and facing it together. In some ways the movie delivered, but in others it felt like a light beer with artificial lime flavoring.

A group of men who talked about it the next night in Bozeman, MT, offered a lot of insight as to what did and didn’t work. It seemed as though the movie was the passion of John Eldredge’s sons, and perhaps something of a rite of passage for them. Some of our audience’s disappointment was due to the reality of a generation gap. When Dan Allender asked the question, “What has broken your heart?” the first answer by one of John’s sons was, “When I was 13 years old, I liked a girl and she ended up dating my best friend.” Certainly all the men drinking beer with me could remember high school pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain some men face of divorce, loss of the ability to provide for their families, or abuse by a cruel father. One point that was made in our discussion was that perhaps these young men’s examples of pain were in fact small, not just because of their youth, but because they had had a father who loved them well.

There were several moments that did touch the hearts of the guys with whom I saw the movie. All of those moments were when the elders shared stories of loss. The horse trainer who had been sexually abused, but found connection and restoration through relationship with animals who wanted relationship, but also had hesitation in trusting. Or the pilot who told the story of shame he felt by an older brother who would physically beat him, as he said, “You ain’t worth shit.” In his adult life, this gentle, adventurous man had crashed a plane, and cursed himself with the phrase his brother had used, while pounding the dashboard with his fist as he careened down the runway. Redemption occurred as he explored the story with trusted friends and was eventually able to use the propellor of that crashed plane as a reminder not of the violation of his youth, but a memorial of refuting the lie that had pierced his heart.

The moment that struck the deepest chord with several people was Eldredge sharing the story of fly fishing alone and finally realizing that he had been looking for an experience that reminded him of the connection he once had with his father, before his father had a stroke. He stated that one day after fishing he sat with his wife and was surprised to hear himself say, “I’ll never find him out there!” Eventually, John began inviting friends and his sons to join him on the river and embraced the ambivalence of the fun of new relationships and experiences that were also a reminder of the lost connection with his dad.

And, herein lies the disappointment, a few written lines were able to catch a summarize the depth of the film. Far too much “drama” was contrived through the use of the music, and a little of the narrative. Juxtaposed against these short-fallings was some incredibly beautiful cinematography of southern Colorado. Ultimately, I believe the movie is worth seeing if you view it as an appetizer. The main course will come as you drink a great beer, and talk with other men about the themes of adventure, beauty, shame, contempt and redemption.